Oh Shit.

One of the greatest, although also a bit bittersweet, things about being a parent is watching your little one learn new tricks. Case in point - the first smile, the first laugh, the first steps, the first word...blah blah blah.

Each "first" marks the end of one milestone and the start of another, hence the bittersweetness. But, every once in awhile you are confronted with a "first" that fills your heart with a dread that can only verbally be measured with the words "Oh Shit." There are lots of types of Oh Shit Moments but they all have that same underlying feeling of dread in them.

Oh Shit. Life will never be the same when those types of firsts happen.

One type is the Basic Oh Shit Moment. A good example of this is when your child suddenly learns how to remove her own diaper. How joyous to see your daughter smile at you as she holds her diaper in one hand and a handful of poop in the other. Or perhaps she has just realized that food can fly if thrown. Thank God we have dogs to help with that type of Basic Oh Shit Moment - they really are of no use what-so-ever with the first example. These Basic Oh Shit Moments are dreadful, but also have the potential to be somewhat amusing later.

Maybe much later but funny none-the-less.

Then there is the Delayed Onset Oh Shit Moment which derives from a "first" that originally invokes great joy but is later determined to be a possible Oh Shit Moment. For example, learning to walk can really be a Delayed Onset Oh Shit Moment. At first, it is so exciting to see those first steps and the beams of pride coming from the face of your child. Then you realize...your baby is now mobile. Soon she will be running. This opens up all sorts of new adventures and possible pending disasters. The Delayed Onset Oh Shit Moment is only discovered after a few minutes of deeper thought, immediatly followed with a shitload of worry and the inevitable what if's.

Then there are the worse types of Oh Shit Moments - the Panic Oh Shit Moments. These can also be associated with those first steps, like when you realize that your daughter has lost her balance and is about to have an up-close and personal encounter with the corner of the coffee table. Or you have quite foolishly let her stand up in the tub so she can make splashes with her feet - only to watch her slip on the slip-proof pad she stands on, resulting in a goose-egg the size of the Eiffel Tower. Or you see her tumble off the couch/bed/etc. The Panic Oh Shit Moments can make your heart stop with helplessness followed by a river of guilt. They either happen in slow motion or the speed of light - nowhere inbetween.

Closely associated with the Panic Oh Shit Moments are the What the Fuck Was That Sound Oh Shit Moments. Either you hear the aftermath of the what would have been a Panic Oh Shit Moment had you only been watching. Or you hear nothing at all. Only Silence. And as a parent, you know that CANNOT be good. Sometimes the What the Fuck Was That Sound Oh Shit Moments can result in relief when you find that all is well and the Oh Shit really wasn't warrented at all. Or they can end in another river of guilt (see the trend here?).

Oh the joys of parenthood. Of course I prefer all the wonderful moments of parenthood. The smiles my daughter gives me, the cuddles, the laughter, the love. But, life is a roller-coaster of peaks and valleys. The Oh Shit Moments really do add a bit of spice to them - although I find the Panic types far too spicy for my tastes. And God knows I have enough guilt in my life already.